Depression :'(

On the first page of our story the future seemeed so bright, then this thing turned out so evil.
I don't know why I'm still suprised. Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes but you'll always be my hero even though you lost your mind.
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn but that's all right because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry but that's all right because I love the way you lie.

my bad day

7 am in the morning i woke up because of a shock dream, in my dream i saw my farther trying to kill me...then i just fall asleep back, I sleep like dying, my group member was calling me many time but i didn't hear the phone ring...actually i have a group meeting at 8 am today but i sleep over then i woke up at 11am...i open my phone ...oh my god 9 miscall n it 11 am...shit i rush to school to meet all of them...when i step my foot in to the library all my group members was staring at me ...i feel so guilty so ashamed. That just one part...12:30 i have to attend building science class which is the most boring class every one was fall asleep in that class. Everyday the class suppose to finish at 2:30 pm but today we just learn a few slides then finish half our early then teacher ask 'anyone have any question' then everyone said 'no'...he seem not really happy with that then i ask 'teacher the class is finish can i go early because i need to do assignment for other subject also i'm so hungry because i didn't have breakfast yet'. then teacher said 'you have another time to do it not this time and this is my class if i don't want you to go so you can't' I don't know why he wants to keep us in class without doing anything like that ...he ask 'is this class boring you?...ok next class i put 50 slides for all you guys so you guys will not boring and don't want to go out before time up anymore. then again everyone was staring at me they think that because of me. 6 pm i finished all my class then i go to take the car behind the school drive back home, there was many car back their then a bad luck come again i hit someone car back there then i came out and check my car oh my god it got a big scrach on it i was thinking oh my gosh i wase money again because i have to fix it and i can't let my mom know it but it a bit lucky because no one saw it then i just rush out from there if not i have to pay for the car i hit one more. I got back home first thing i do is i said 'MOTHER F***ER' the door was lock and i don't have a key, it with my brother and he is on the way to KAMPOT, I started to call to my cousin she said she come home at 9 pm because she works...then what i can do just waiting for her in car...i feel so bored because i have to sit in the car for 3 hours what the hell is that day? then i just call to my babe to talk with him....then the first call Trr....Trr...Trrr...the number you calling is busy....second call...Trrr....Trrr...Trrrr...no answer....3rd call, 4Th call, 5Th call...still ...Trrr....Trrr...no answer...then i call again....a girl said the number you are calling is out of coverage area...please try again later.....What's a day?

Making a wrong choice

I love you before i meet you. That the word he used to tell her...the song he used to sing for her. He stay up late until 4 am everyday because he wants to chat with her...many sweet words that he used to say to her...the way he used to show that he really want to take care of her...the word I love you that he use to tell her everyday....those kind of things make up one love....then everything start to be real not thought text anymore...they saw each other...they met each other...they spent a sweet wonderful memories together...he said I love you more and more when i met you...he stick up with her in every single moment...holding her hand everywhere he goes...shown her off to everyone...told everyone how proud he is to have her...everyone was know about that...he went to meet her family...told her parent he want to take care of her for his whole life... growing old with her...he said he going to engage her and married her as soon as possible, because he doesn't want to lose her...he made her falling in love with him so bad...
Two weeks later it time for him to said good bye to her to be apart from her to his mother land but just a short moment...he holding her in his arm crying together to say good bye at the air port...he promise he comes back soon and bring the wedding ring for her.....
yeah...and he come back as he used to promise....but everything was change ....he totally change to another person...i can't believe that is him...he came on her birthday...she was waiting for him to said happy birthday to her...but noooo...until she ask him what is today...and you know what he said he don't know he forget...she trying to keep a smile on her face with the tear inside her heart...everything that he use to do ...he used to say to her was disappear all. he doesn't even want to talk with her... to touch her like he used to...
A night come the birthday party was start...he did nothing he just come to join ...all her friend were doing many thing to surprise her but that what he should do...a party was keep going suddenly he disappear...everyone was trying to find him almost a hour than when we saw him he was talking on the phone with someone....she was crying like the hell. she said why he did that ,why he doesn't care about her...then she stop crying and the party keep going...until 3 am in the morning we desire to go home...she a Little bit drunk then she fall from the stair...then you know what the guy that go to carry her is her friend not him...he just standing and watch.
everyday he always talking on the phone with someone ...then she ask who is that he said friend...actually he was on the phone with another girl, he cheat on her....but she's not give up she still try to turn him back...I'm so pity her...she crying everyday ..I hold her and told her stop crying , be strong ...then she ask me back what she has done wrong why she meet this kind of thing...she said she done many good thing why what she get back is like this...she said she really hurt she really hurt...suddenly my tear just drop out ...i really love her, i don't want to see her like that...but i don't know what to do to make it better..............................
this is just one part it still to be continue because she doesn't let him know that she know he was cheat on her yet........

sothyta birthday 2010

we all in white dress

I look so brown

She lost already..lol

It suppose to be only sitta and me


I look more brown when I post near her

No matter wat happen

MAY......

May the luck always with you whereever you go and whatever you do
may you always have work for your hand to do
may your pockets always a coin or two
may the hand of your friend always be near you
may i could hepl you whenever you need me
may your day many and your trouble be few
may happiness fill your heart each day your whole life through
may something good is going to happen to you
may there be kindness in your gaze when you look within
may you be set free from the prison of quilt, fear, disappointment and depair
may good luck be your friend and trouble be a stanger to you
may people always right next to you when you sad, growth your laugh and dry your tear
may you feel me always by your side
may your heart be strong

And may all of this words truly happen and come to Roniel Dionco

HElp.....

help..... I need it now..... I know its not right but I hope I can get some.... coz its been too long I been helping people maybe its now time for me to ask for some helping hand.... I dont know how to say it..nor even know how to make it... but I hope you can just understand.... Its been a long trip.... but its not easy to quit and put the white flag....

but I can say now..... IM PUTTING THE WHITE FLAG UP.....

Time....

One day is like one year...four months is like 400 years for me and it just not that it has more for me to count everyday...sometime i feel really hard... i was like i can't wait i can't wait i want it now but...that just the wanted feeling...Nothing can make it faster or slower to fill human passion...time is time...it will run as it usual...sometime i was worry that time will change people...sometime it changes to be worst ...sometime it changes to be better but i hope that time will change us to be better...time is a killer...Also time can makes people from dead to alive...like before i was dead aready because of the past time was killing me by many thing but when you come that the new time and you make me alive again to see the sun shine, to smile to the world, and to fresh my heart again.......sometime you will wish time to run slower when you have to wait for something or someone that is really worst to come to you but...sometime you will wish it to run faster when you have to wait for something or someone that really worth for you to waiting for...like i always wish... but i don't know you have the same way of feeling like mind or not...lol...time will tell you everything ...like i been through many thing... and time makes me feel i am not important to everyone...no one was care about me...i feel i'm all alone...but is that just my stupid thinking?....well who the hell know...cus i am not Edward that can read people mind...or maybe they think i am really important, they care about me....but i can't see it??...so cheer it up ....i hope at least someone will think i am important and care about me...and i wish that someone is you...i said " you and me ...Roniel" and if you still with me even time goes by...you just said "you and me...Nike" when i still can hear that sentence form you that mean our time is not end and you are still mine...I LOVE YOU so i wouldn't let the time to take you away from me.....

A Crazy Dream.

it was about you babe, it was like so true, like I was in the future.
I finished college and planed to get back to pp. When I arrive pp, I saw you again for the first time, you look different,. your hair, the way you dress, the way you talk, and the way you act. and when I talk to you, thats the time I cried, I cant believe what I was hearing, you were getting engage with someone, Suddenly my world fell apart, all my dreams with you was crashed . I cant moves, even talking was hard to do, the only thing in my mine was " I love you" , then you said "I was to far, and you were not there when I need you, but this man was there to comfort me", Then I thought everything you said was right, I was not there to help you, But I was there to LOVE you.

Then YOu walk a way!!!!

Thats the short version about my dream, but babe its just a dream, I know it will never happen, coz I love you, your only mine... and I am yours

Catch Me!

now your words makes me stronger than ever. and thank you for letting me know that you will be there waiting for my to come back, for me to see and spend time with you again, thank you babe that you will alwasy listen to me and understand my reasons if I was not about to talk or text u, or even chat with you, babe thank you for giving your world to me. and accepting my own with yours. babe thank you that you never get tired of making me smile and surprice me with your small doings. sometimes I ask my self if i really deserved you. coz you really are a kind person, your so honest, and you are easy to get a long with, someone told me that "if you find a person would jump with you if you want to jump in the highest mountain, he or she dont need you. but if u find a person would not jump with you in the mountain and rather let you jump by your self, that person loves you and cares for you..... you know why?..... coz he/she will be at the bottom waitting for you to fall, and will catch you.."
Now I found my catcher... ad thats you babe..... I love you.. and miss u soo much

For you and Forever

I love you
I love you so much, I never love someone so badly like this and am sure it forever. I want to spend all the rest of my life with you.....before I really hate waiting...but i don't know why I love to wait for you...I'm not bored or even a bit tired of it and never think to give up. I love the way who you are...you don't pretend or hide who you really are...I love the way you confidence your self and never put down. Most of people said you are playboy....but I see you in different way...you are nice... gentle... care...sweet... and more else...and i want to say " If loving you wrong i don't want to be right". some bad whisper about you always come to my ears...but I don't care what it is...I just know I love you and I trust you. I don't care who you are where your from what you did ,as long as you love me. I open up all my heart for you. you're the one for me. I miss you in every second in my life and dreaming you always with me.
All I want to say I will wait for your wait till the day you come back , the day we share our life together and spend the rest of my life with you.

I LOVE YOU BABE

Impossible

I never thought that this would be happen.......i have a crush on you since i first saw u....that we don't even know each other and you don't realize ....i thought it just a dream...and told my self just forget it...cus we have no connection or even a chance to know each other...seem like we in different world.....that what am thinking....as long as time goes ...i met you again....and this second met make me feel that i have a chance to know you and to love you...I try so hard to know you to meet you and to see you.....we starting to no each other...in that moment i was really happy even we just friend....but that happy moment is just a short time...cus you have to go...first when you told me i don't believe it...but it true that you have to go and i have to deserve it...it was a really hard time for me ...my feeling was going down to the hell... i feel so weak....i was crying that time because i don't want to lose you even we aren't boyfriend and girl friend yet...i don't no why i was so crazy like that....But every thing was change i love you and you love me back...i was really surprise and don't want to believe it when i saw you post something in facebook...am so excited that time....and i believe that is true when u told me that you love me....am not dreaming anymore everything is true....and today is our one month anniversary
I want to say I LOVE YOU BABE...<3 <3 <3

Another wrong step.

How can I be ok. If Everything I do means nothing to all of you.
How can I be ok. If every time I speak you shout me of.
How can I be ok. If no one is there to stay.
How can I be ok. If Even my self is not gonna stay.

This is just a few things I feel right now.Ever the world seems like don't need my now.
Everything I do means nothing to you, I didn't apply for this. Why you keep putting me pressure.
It's like you didn't even know me. Now I feel like I want to vanish on this face of the earth. Because maybe if that happens no one will notice it.

Is it not enough, I do my best to make you proud of me. But it seems like its going the other way around. But I still want to continue I will never say never. Because I know someday. I will be having my happy ending.

You see I never thought that I could walk through fire
I never thought that I could take a burn
I never had the strength to take it higher
Until I reach the point of no return

And there's just no turnin back
When your heart's under attack
Gonna give everything I have
It's my destiny

I will never say never
I will fight till forever
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
Pick it up,

I never thought that I could feel this power
I never thought that I could feel this free
I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower
And I'm fast enough to run across the sea

Cuz there's just no turnin back
When your heart's under attack
Gonna give everything I have
Cuz this is my destiny

I will never say never
I will fight till forever
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
Pick it up,
And never say never

I will never say never
I will fight till forever
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
Pick it up,
And never say never

Never say never

I will never say never
I will fight till forever
Whenever you knock me down
I will not stay on the ground
Pick it up,

And never say never

Always be for ever

I Love You.
I love every little thing about you --
Your sexy smile, the sound of your voice, the magic in your eyes. I love your gentle touch and the warmth I feel at your side ... I love dreaming about you. *I love discovering you and letting go with you. I love each and every once-in-a-lifetime moment I share with you. Today, tomorrow, forever.

I love so much about you that it is hard to pick just a couple of things out. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you smile. I even love it when you make me mad and don't know why. I love how when you upset me, you try so hard to make it better. I am so in love with you that I don't go one minute without thinking of you and wishing that I was with you! I can't stand to be without you for one second. You have truly turned me into myself. Before you, nobody allowed me to be me. You have allowed me to open up my heart and trust again. You have allowed me to smile and be happy again. And for that I love you. I thank you and I will forever cherish our memories and I know there are many more to come.

The most important thing I want to say is "I will come back, meet you, and stay with you, love you, and grow old with you"
"I MISS YOU"

Woke up in Phil!!!!

Last week I was in Cambodia, not knowing I was about to go back in the Philippines,
partying and working, It was really so sad when my mom finally told me that I will go back here,
I was so shock and a bit happy,,... and the rest is sad.
I don't want to believe it. I was thinking she was just joking, but by the way the look in her eyes, she was not joking.

But I it was really a blessing, and I know that's the best for me, I was about to continue college,
and I was really happy that I was about to go to school. Finally!!!.... but I was afraid what will happen when I come back!

And June came!!.... it was to hard to accept that time fly's very fast. It was really hard. I was going to live those things I grow up with. And the people I knew that they were always there.

And my time is suddenly gone! morning came and it was time for me to live the party.
It was really sad I was about to step out of Cambodia.
I was missing those people already, My mom, dad, my brothers, my sister..... and the rest of the family, and my friends, and my love

Then June 8 came. I was in the Philippines already.
I can't believe that I was walking in the street of it.
So many things change, people grow old, places was change, and time goes by so fast.
And it was so weird that every one around me is talking so different.
The way they talk is so different!!!...
And suddenly I knew!... I surrounded by the language which I understand.

But I will always wants to come back in Cambodia

The people I call F Family.....

Franco (Creative Director) A.K.A my cousin.... he is more than a boss to me... his like a mentor to me, I always want to make him proud... and I hope I do..... and I will always miss him......

Sophy ( Editorial in Chief)..... She is a strong like a bull..... thats why I really admire her. And she also a good friend. She understand things easily... I'm gonna miss u... and thank u for the letter

Noh ( Managing Director)...... My Boss in the F magazine..... He is the one I was working for the first time, I learn a lot from him. and I been to different places, and spend time with him working and partying....... I'm gonna miss u Boss, thank you for your words

Jayson (art director) My first ever teacher in Photoshop...... and other editing mater. I really gonna miss this big guy. He looks so mean, but he got a soft heart. he is always there if I needed some help..... I'm gonna miss ridding on his motor...... and going home together..... and the joke and funny times.... I will never forget wat u teach me.....

Mac (Marketing Sales)...... He is my first friend in the office, Coz I was working wit him the first time, and I was so happy that he trusted me,...... and wen I move to F magazine he help me with the things that I'm gonna do, and he never mist an advise to me..... and I was so thankful that he become one of my big brother!!!!! I'm gonna miss him..... wen we go out side the office and he smoke ( I don't smoke, only him).... and we talk, and joke around..... I'm gonna miss it

Snguon (Editorial Assistant)....... She sit beside me in the office, and every time I'm with her, we always laugh, I always have a good time with her...... talking, working, and partying!!!!!..... She is one of the people I always joke around with, and I'm gonna miss her, coz she always ask me some spelling!!!!! We will still party again girl!!

Soap....... he is really quiet in the office, but I really like the most to him is wen he like to say something he would say it, with a smiling face, And I'm gonna miss that smile!!!

Narry (accountant).... she is the smallest in our family, but she is really smart wen it comes to counting (thats why she's the accountant). But I will miss every morning she say "HI" and "good morning " to me. And she also respect me, even she's older than me!!!!

I'm gonna miss u!!!

Sothea (Marketing Assistant) ...... He is the oldest in the family, but he is so down to earth. I really like talking to him, even we don't have the same age, we still understand each other. I like him, coz he let me borrow his motor everytime I need it, and if I need some help, he is willing to help me. I know we will meet again

I dont have a picture of yeng (distributor), but he is like sothea. he is kind and understanding.... but sometimes lazy!!!!!!!

Time goes by so fast.

It was destined for me to be here, to live and understand more about life.

I was really sad when I heard that I will be living Philippines, and living here.

It was too hard in the beginning and it was not that easy for me to adjust my

life for this new thing in my life. I miss a lot of thing back in Philippines, the people

I use to know, the food I use to eat, the place I hang out. All of this and more

I was really sad. But what can I do I’m still a kid that time,

But I didn’t many good things will happen for me here,

I met new people, new friends, new love, and new life,

They are friendly, kind and loving. And understand me the same way my friends in

The Philippine understand me. People live but most of the people stay, and I call them

True friends. The first year was adjustment time for me, but the other 4 years was a hell of fun

I was so proud that I came here.

I was 12 when I went here. And now I’m turning 18 , time goes by so fast.

Meeting Cambodian people is really hell of fun. I learn to understand there language

And there living. I know Cambodia is hot, but that doesn’t make is boring. It was

The place I call second home. Even sometimes people are crazy, and they tried to trick you

Its still a place I want to come back and come back, a place I grow up.

The best person I met was my best friend Leonora Cruz,

She was my friend and we all know that she was my best friend ever. Even though we fought

We always best friend, I love her so much. I could never think of forgetting her. She make my future

And she’s on it. I will always and forever your sister. I’m gonna miss u sis..

And the best things keep on going to my life, but I can’t deny that I have some bad times.

But God keep giving me problems, to test me, and to make me a better person.

I was stop and go through my studies, because of some family problems. I really want to study,

But maybe it was not the right time, in a young age of 16 I work here in a fast food restaurant.

And when time flies so fast, I realized that I need to finish High School. So I return again in studying

And I finish High School

And I was overwhelmed when I got a chance to work in a Modeling agency, and dance group.

My first project was to teach the SPY MODELS with dancing and modeling, and they’re twice my size and age

But they are like gentle giants. They look at me like a real teacher, and the really trust me.

But every time someone was eliminated, I was so sad, I feel like my kid is gone. But its just like that. It’s a contest.

And after it was over I cried like a baby, coz I know it was the last time I could ever see them.

But it the best par t is when I got into F group (F magazine), it was like so amazing. Every day was a new experience for me

And they trust me so much. And I couldn’t thank them enough for that. Every issue is like new challenge for me.

And I will never forget F…. I love F magazine.

And I love the people behind it.

I love Cambodia,

Who am I?

who am I?

I love, I fail, I tried again, I fail gain, I was close to giving up…..until you came.

I’m not sure why people always take advantage on my age; they used and lived me after getting what they want.

I was never sure if I can be angry on them, if I’ll get even with them, but one thing I’m sure I never want to be bad AGAIN.

But don’t push me so hard!.... I might push you back and kill you, and I’m sure it will not be nice.

I been to dark side, and it was not that bad…… it’s a chaos, and I don’t want to see that person on me again.

Who am I? They often tell me I stepped from my cell’s confinement Calmly, cheerfully, firmly, Like a squire from his country-house. Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders Freely and friendly and clearly, As though it were mine to command. Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune Equally, smilingly, proudly, Like one accustomed to win. Am I then really all that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself? Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, Tossing in expectation of great events, Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all? Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved? Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knows, 0 God, I am Thine!

Many times I've asked this question of myself and this riddle gave me a new view to this. If half of what you do is defined by your habits, then your habits will give you the answer to half ofthe question. 50% of who you are, of who you were, of whom you will be are simply determined by examining your habits.But that is only half the answer. To me, the other half is determined by the choices we make. Even as far as our habits are concerned, we can choose what we want to do about it. If you choose to do nothing, or change nothing, your habits will continue to dictate your destiny. Is that what you want? This poem, or rather riddle, is not the answer. It is just a riddle - a riddle that might help you figure out who you are. Are you the sum of your habits? Remember that you are in control. You can CHOOSE to change your habits. For better or worse. The choice is yours.

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things I do you might as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I?

Me NOW

I was nearly crushed by them

Me at avatar look

Me and Mac...... making fun with Sreynet

This look so weird

it was a Hair party... but I din't get the note

The light was really good... but suddenly God said to me..... " Its not your time yet"

The Two Assistant of F magazine.....

With Srous

With Noh Sar (my Boss)

The Birthday boy SOPHEA

At Studio 182. I was really having a time out, I need to have a picture of myself.

It look so wrong from this.

Taking a big bit.

The Summer Issue

This is me.....talking a picture of my self with the models at the back

At the hotel near port side..... it was 4:00am in the morning.

with Thea and Yeng

First I my hair was really nice, but after the water falls it was all mess up.

but look at the view...... it was secretly in a secret passage behind the trees.

With the people behind the trip.

The falls at my back was really cold..... but really pure clean water.

At the Mountain top.

With Noh Sar, at the stop over going to Kho Kong.....

Chilling out, while waiting for the rest to pack there things.

Taking some rest at the port side of the fishing place at King Island

I don't know what this is

Me at the AWESOME

Its always be a good Idea.....

People just don't understand that being a nice guy don't always have a reason...... Its all in us, every body has there good side in there life, but sometimes being nice always put you in the bad side of your self......

I'm nice but not stupid, I give people my whole life, trust them, and help them.

but why do they always need to say something bad about me.... they can't just tell me what to do..... this is my life..., yes they can give advice, but don't expect that I will always fallow it,.

I know what I'm doing,

80's

A day full of pain....

It was really a good morning,

but I guess it turns out I have a bad stomach problem,
I don't know wat did I eat so bad....

I hope I'll be ok tomorrow

Basketball

Basketball is my first love,

when I have the ball in my hand I feel like a kid with a candy.....
so happy wen I play this game

I love this game

Its Morning in the City....

Good morning my Perfect blog,

Damn I only have 3 hours sleep, I need more. but afraid not I can't, coz I need to finish a lot more works, But I hope I can finish it on time,

I'm still hungry....though I eat breakfast already,

Hope it will turns up a good day for me..

Dream land

......its already 1;18am in the morning. Still dont want to sleep, I still want to stay a wake now....

Wen I was a kid, I never had a thing for sleeping, coz I just want to play and hang-out with my playmates, they always want to play hide and also tag......... but you know, growing up with the eyes of your grandma could be pretty unlucky, even if she can't catch me(coz I'm so damn fast)..... she will always shout, like a sound that could reach out to the sky, then me as a young boy would e scared like a puppy in a rockband, I would run to her as fast as I can.... then she would say "TIME TO SLEEP now"....(she always say it in a nice way).... then if I said no..... you know wat happen if u make ur authority waiting....the smack will come down in justice......

So even I like to play around, I can't coz I should grow tall and strong....( SO YOU GUYS WHO BLAME ME BECAUSE I'M TALL, BLAME THEM THAT MAKE ME........lolz)

I should take some rest now......... see u tomorrow my good looking perfect blog...

It's Hard

It had been raining for more than a week, so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy. She called and said she was coming up. It was the third time she came up to see me that week. I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven-eleven. She was standing there alone, carrying her red umbrella. Her friend had dropped her off. It was raining and she was shivering. She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain, wearing not enough to keep her warm.

I walked up to her and said, "You shouldn't come see me anymore," and stuff like how we shouldn't be together.
She said, "I miss you."
I told her coldly, "Lets go, I'll take you home."
She did not open up her umbrella, I knew she wanted to share mine.
I said, "Open up your umbrella, let's go."

Unwillingly, She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car. She said she hadn't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat.

Right away I answered with a stoned heart, "No!"
Disappointed, she asked me to take her to the train station, she said she would take the train back home.

Maybe it was the rain, all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home, not caring about who just passed by. We waited and waited, she looked at me innocently. Being together for so long, of course I knew what she meant. I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this. With her soft eyes staring at me, I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night.

But reality struck again, I said to her coldly, "Let's go try the other train station."

We were living in the same apartment building, on the same floor. Back then there were four of us, and we got along well. We would always eat dinner together, watch movies, and sometimes go camping. We were more like a family, but I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four. Maybe it was during the last year of college, having living together for two years, we developed deep feelings for each other. After she graduated she went back home, and I stayed for one more year to finish school. During that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays, but never for long. That was how we kept the treasured relationship.

We were walking along the side of the road. She was in front of me and I was right behind her. Her umbrella had a broken spoke. She looked liked a wounded soldier, carrying her rusted rifle walking weakly. Many times, she was too into thinking or whatever she was doing, drifting off the road, she almost got hit by the cars passing by. I wanted to just take her in my arms, but with the love I had for her and the constant pain in my stomach, I did nothing. On the way, we passed by the park where we use to always go.

She begged and said, "Lets go in the park just for a little while please, I promise I'll go home right after this."

New life

New life in my new room, having so much adjustments, still can't sleep well.....
Still messy, but I like it that way...

Welcome

Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's day to all.